What it is
Facesitting combines closeness, oral stimulation and power exchange, with the sitting partner above and in control. Smothering is a form of breath play in which access to air is limited for short moments. People drawn to it often describe the intensity, surrender and trust involved, but the physical danger of breath restriction means many experienced players treat smothering as a hard limit.
Facesitting is when one partner sits or kneels over the other's face, often for oral sex, worship or a display of dominance. Smothering goes further and deliberately restricts breathing, using the body, hands or a soft object. Facesitting can be practiced with low risk when airways stay clear, while any breath restriction carries the risk of unconsciousness, brain injury and death that no technique removes.
What it involves
- The sitting partner kneeling over the lying partner's face, with weight carried mainly on their own knees.
- Oral sex or body worship while the sitting partner controls position and pace.
- Dominance elements, such as commands or teasing, from the partner on top.
- In smothering, brief and deliberate restriction of breath by the body, a hand or a cushion.
- Constant watching of the lying partner's face, hands and body for any sign of distress.
How to start
Start with facesitting that keeps the nose clear and the weight on the sitting partner's knees.
Agree on a non-verbal tap-out signal, such as tapping a thigh twice, since the lying partner cannot speak.
Keep the lying partner's hands free at all times so they can signal or push away.
Hold positions briefly and lift off regularly, even if no signal was given.
Talk afterward about comfort, breathing and what felt good before trying longer scenes.
Going further
- Experiment with different angles and positions while keeping at least one airway free.
- Add dominance or verbal play once both partners are confident with signals and timing.
- Lengthen facesitting gradually, with regular breaks to breathe freely.
- Treat any move toward smothering as a separate negotiation about breath play and its risks.
- If you explore breath restriction, learn first aid and CPR and seek in-person guidance from experienced people.
Safety
- Never block both the nose and the mouth at the same time, and lift off at once if breathing seems blocked.
- Keep the sitting partner's full body weight off the face, head and neck, and avoid bending the neck sharply.
- Do not sit or lie on the chest for long periods, since weight there can stop breathing.
- Never combine facesitting or smothering with bondage, gags or alcohol and other drugs.
- Use dental dams or other barriers for oral contact to lower the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
- Lift off immediately if the lying partner goes limp, still, quiet or changes color, then check breathing.
Consent
- Negotiate facesitting and smothering separately, since one does not imply the other.
- Understand that consent cannot remove the physical risks of breath restriction.
- Agree that the tap-out signal ends the scene instantly, with no teasing delay.
- Discuss asthma, heart conditions, sleep apnea, panic attacks and medications before play.
- Respect that either partner may refuse smothering entirely at any time.
Warnings
- Unconsciousness can happen within seconds and brain damage within minutes, often without clear warning.
- A person close to passing out may be unable to give the tap-out signal.
- Call emergency services immediately if a partner loses consciousness, has trouble breathing or does not respond normally.
- Seek medical care after any fainting, confusion, severe headache or chest pain following play.
- In some places, restricting a partner's breathing can be a crime regardless of consent.
Good to know
- Facesitting without breath restriction is a common practice and very different in risk from smothering.
- Many people enjoy facesitting purely for intimacy, worship or a sense of being dominated.
- Smothering is a form of breath play, and the warnings in the Breath Play entry apply fully.
- Comfort matters: pillows under the lying partner's head and a stable surface help both partners.