Tools
A user manual for me
Six short prompts that tell the people close to you how you work best: how you handle conflict, what comforts you and how you like to receive affection. Private by default, shared only if you want.
What is a user manual for me?
Appliances come with instructions. People do not. A user manual for me is a short, personal guide you write about yourself: how you react under stress, what helps you calm down and what makes you feel cared for.
It is not a test and there are no right answers. It is a starting point for conversations with a partner, a date or a close friend, so they do not have to guess what you need.
Say it once, clearly
Write down what is hard to explain in the moment, when you are calm and have time to think.
Fewer misunderstandings
Partners learn how you deal with conflict and closeness before it matters.
Grows with you
Change your answers whenever you change. Your manual is never finished.
The six prompts
Each answer has up to 500 characters. These examples show the kind of thing people write.
Conflict resolution
How do you prefer to handle conflicts? For example: "I need some space to think first" or "I prefer to talk it through right away."
Comfort methods
What helps you feel better when you are upset? For example: "Physical touch and reassurance" or "Time alone to process."
Social battery
How do you recharge? For example: "I need some time alone every day" or "Being around people gives me energy."
Communication style
How do you communicate best? For example: "Direct and straightforward" or "Thoughtful, with time to process."
Receiving affection
How do you like to receive love and affection? For example: "Words of affirmation" or "Acts of service."
Pet peeves
What bothers you in a relationship? For example: "Being interrupted" or "Plans made without asking me."
How it works
Answer the prompts
Write as much or as little as you like. Your answers are saved as you type.
Add what you enjoy
Choose items from your library and link your latest preference test if you want.
Share or print
Keep it private, share a link with someone you trust or print it as a PDF.
Private by default
- Your manual is visible only to you until you decide otherwise.
- If you want to share it, switch on a public link. The link contains a random code, not your name.
- Switch the link off at any time and the page is no longer reachable.
- Your email address is never shown on a shared manual.
Try it now
Fill in the prompts without an account. Your draft is saved only in this browser. When you sign up, you can import it into your account.
Questions and answers
Do I need an account?
You can try the prompts right here without an account. Your draft stays in this browser. To keep it, share it or print a full version, create a free account and import the draft.
Who can see my manual?
Only you. If you switch on sharing, anyone with the link can read it. Partners you connect with can see it only if you allow it in your sharing settings.
What should I write?
Honest, everyday answers work best. Short notes are fine. Think about what you would want a new partner to know in your first weeks together.