Key points
- First meeting always in public
- Video chat before meeting
- Tell a friend where you're going
- Don't share home address initially
- Trust your instincts
In detail
- Vetting: Video chat multiple times, talk extensively, ask for references if possible
- First meeting: Public place (coffee shop), daytime, no play, just talking
- Safety: Tell a friend where you are going and when to expect your check-in, and have your own transportation
- Information: Don't share your address until trust is established; consider a secondary phone number or messaging app
- Red flags: Pressure to meet quickly, won't video chat, inconsistent stories, pushy
- Verification: Search their name online, reverse image search their photos, check kink community profiles if applicable
- After meeting: Take things slowly, public meetings several times before playing
Warnings
- Catfishing is common
- People lie about experience and intentions
- Predators target new community members
- Assault can happen on first meetings
- Don't accept drinks you didn't see being made
- Home addresses should be guarded
Resources and next steps
- Use check-in apps or systems
- Join vetting groups on social media
- Ask community about potential partners
- Learn about common scams
- Trust your gut feelings