Key points
- Stop the scene as soon as panic shows, safeword or not
- Remove gags, blindfolds, hoods and restraints first
- Slow breathing with a longer out-breath helps the body settle
- If in doubt between panic and a medical problem, call for help
- Talk it through later, without blame
In detail
- Typical signs: racing heart, fast breathing, chest tightness, trembling, tingling, dizziness, feeling unreal, fear of dying. It usually peaks within about ten minutes, then eases
- Triggers include restraint, sensory deprivation, a memory stirred by a role or word, exhaustion and stimulants
- Respond: release everything that limits movement, sight or breath, switch on the lights and give the person room, sitting upright. Use a calm voice and short sentences: 'You are safe. I am here. We have stopped'
- Breathing: breathe slowly with them, in through the nose and out for longer than in. Do not use a paper bag
- Grounding: ask them to name five things they can see or to feel their feet on the floor
- Ask before touching. Some people want a hug, others need distance
- Afterward: aftercare, water, warmth, and later a talk about what to change. Recurring attacks are worth raising with a doctor or therapist
Warnings
- Call emergency services for chest pain spreading to the arm, jaw or back, blue lips, fainting, or symptoms that do not ease
- A first attack, a known heart or lung condition, diabetes or recent drug use make a physical cause more likely
- Do not dismiss or tease; the fear is real even when the danger is not
Resources and next steps
- A doctor or therapist, ideally kink-aware
- Information on panic attacks from public health services
- The aftercare and sub drop guides on this site
- Your local emergency number (112 in the EU, 999 in the UK, 911 in the US and Canada)