What to say
I've found out that you shared intimate photos of me without asking. That was a serious breach of my trust and my privacy, and I need you to understand how much it hurts.
I need you to delete them from every device and account, tell me exactly who has seen them, and ask those people to delete them too. I'm not discussing anything else about us until that's done.
What to do next
Only speak to your partner if it feels safe. Before you do, or instead of doing it, save evidence: screenshots of messages, posts, usernames, links and dates. You may need these later, even if you're not sure yet what you'll do.
If images are online, report them to the platform. Most large platforms have a way to report intimate images shared without consent. StopNCII.org can help adults stop known images from being shared on participating platforms, without the images ever leaving your device. You can also seek legal advice, since sharing intimate images without consent is a crime in many places.
Our Safety section, with the safety handbook and the helplines page, can point you to support. You don't need to decide about the relationship right away, but a partner who does this has shown you something important about how they treat your trust.
Safety first
This is image-based abuse. It's especially dangerous if your partner threatens to share more images, uses them to control what you do, demands money or more photos, or reacts with anger when you confront them. Don't send any more images, and don't give in to threats.
Please reach out to the helplines on our Safety page, which can offer confidential support and help you think through reporting. If you feel unsafe or are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services.
Tips
Change the passwords for your accounts and check which devices are logged in, in case your partner has access. Turn on two-step login wherever you can.
Lean on people you trust. Shame tends to grow in silence, and telling a friend or counselor can make it feel less overwhelming. What happened says something about the person who shared the images, not about you.
Prevent this next time
A good conversation helps today. A shared tool helps you avoid the same knot next month.
Safe words, check-ins and aftercare give you a shared language for the moment something stops feeling okay.
Open the safety handbookTags
- #intimate images
- #image-based abuse
- #privacy
- #betrayal
- #digital safety