What to say
I want to talk about something that's been on my mind. When photos of me go up online without me knowing, I feel uncomfortable, because I'm a pretty private person and I'd like a say in what's shared.
I know you probably post because you're happy about us, and I appreciate that. Could we agree that you'll check with me before posting anything with me in it?
What to do next
Many people post about their partners out of pride or excitement, and may not realize it bothers you. A clear, kind conversation is usually the place to start.
Asking for consent before sharing someone's image is a good habit in any relationship. The Relationship Contract Builder can help you both set clear expectations about posting, tagging, and what kinds of photos are okay.
If there are photos up now that you don't want shared, ask for them to be taken down or untagged. Most platforms also let you adjust tagging settings so you can review posts before they appear on your profile.
If your partner keeps posting after you've clearly asked them not to, that's a respect issue. It's fair to ask yourself whether your boundaries are being taken seriously.
Safety first
Some situations make posting more than an annoyance. If you're hiding from someone, have safety concerns about your location being shared, or your job or family situation is at risk, explain that clearly and ask for posts to come down right away.
If your partner uses photos to control you, such as posting to monitor or claim you, threatening to share private or intimate images, or posting to punish you, that is abuse. Sharing intimate images without consent is a serious violation and may be illegal.
A counselor or therapist can help you plan next steps, and the helplines on our Safety page offer confidential support. If anyone is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services.
Tips
Turn on tag review in your social media settings so posts that tag you need your approval first.
Be specific about what's okay. Maybe group photos are fine but close-ups aren't, or you prefer no location tags.
Offer a quick approval habit, like a text before posting, so it's easy for them to follow.
Appreciate the intention behind their posts when you can. It makes the boundary easier to hear without feeling like rejection.
Prevent this next time
A good conversation helps today. A shared tool helps you avoid the same knot next month.
An agreement turns what you talked about into something you can both come back to: limits, check-ins and what happens when something feels off.
Write an agreement togetherTags
- #social media
- #privacy
- #consent
- #photos
- #boundaries