Key points
- Discuss all planned activities and boundaries
- Establish safe words and non-verbal signals
- Share medical conditions and limitations
- Plan aftercare for all participants
- Set realistic time limits
In detail
- Topics to cover: specific activities, intensity levels, duration, safe words
- Share: medical conditions, injuries, medications, triggers, past trauma
- Discuss: hard limits (never), soft limits (maybe), and enthusiastic yes activities
- Plan: aftercare needs, follow-up check-ins, what to do if something goes wrong
- Both parties should be sober during negotiation
- Write things down for complex scenes or new partners
- Review negotiation before starting the scene
- Allow questions and discussion without pressure
- Negotiation can be erotic in itself and part of the scene
Warnings
- Skipping negotiation leads to consent violations
- Assumptions cause serious harm
- Communication failures cause trauma
- Pressure during negotiation invalidates consent
- Rushing through negotiation is dangerous
Resources and next steps
- Use negotiation checklists for thoroughness
- Practice negotiation skills with experienced community members
- Take communication workshops
- Keep negotiation notes for reference