Key points
- Covers a wide range of activities and considerations
- Prevents forgetting important topics
- Especially useful for new partners
- Update based on experiences
- Not a substitute for conversation
In detail
- What checklists cover: Activities, intensity, limits, medical conditions, triggers, aftercare
- How to use: Fill out individually first, discuss together, note differences
- Rating systems: No/Maybe/Yes, or 0 to 5 scale for interest level
- Important sections: Hard limits, soft limits, medical info, triggers, boundaries
- Follow-up: Discuss any surprises, clarify maybes, understand reasoning
- Regular updates: Limits change, experiences inform preferences, review periodically
- Types available: General BDSM, specific to activities, relationship-focused
Warnings
- A checklist is a starting point, not a complete negotiation
- Can't cover everything
- Conversation beyond the checklist is still needed
- Can feel clinical if not balanced with connection
- Some things only discovered through experience
Resources and next steps
- Find checklists online from BDSM education sites
- Create custom checklist for your needs
- Update after each scene or regularly
- Keep copies for reference
- Use as conversation starter