Key points
- Agree on a non-verbal signal for every scene, not only gag scenes
- The signal must work in the position the person will be in
- It must look different from anything else that happens in the scene
- Practice it before the scene starts
- No response to a check-in means stop
In detail
- Drop signal: the person holds a ball, keys or a small bell. Dropping it means stop. This works with hands free or tied in front
- Tap out: two or three firm taps on the partner, the floor or the furniture
- Squeeze code: the top squeezes the hand twice to ask; two squeezes back mean all is well, no squeeze means stop
- Hum signal: three short hums for stop, for gags or hoods where the hands are restrained
- Choose a signal that cannot be confused with struggling, moaning or shaking, which may be part of the scene
- Test the signal once during the scene, so both of you know it works in practice
- Have a second signal as a backup, because panic can make people forget
Warnings
- A signal cannot help someone who has fainted, so watching closely is always needed
- Words can fail in moments of panic or freeze, even without a gag
- If hands are restrained and the mouth is covered, find a signal that still works before the scene starts
- Never ignore or test a stop signal on purpose
Resources and next steps
- The guide on safe words on this site
- The guide on gag safety on this site
- The guide on sensory deprivation on this site
- The agreement builder on this site to record your signals